Once upon a time, there lived a little girl, a princess. She had a beautiful home, and her Father loved her more than she could ever comprehend. In fact, she had such a microscopic idea of how much her Father loved her, she thought that He was trying to keep her from experiencing all the fun stuff, the stuff all the other princes and princesses were doing. She was jealous of the others, and she wanted to be able to have fun just like them.
So one day, instead of asking her Father if the prince she was talking to was the right prince for her, the headstrong princess decided she knew better than her Father and started to date the prince.
She was happy, for a while. She thought she had everything figured out, and that she would get married to the prince one day, and they would live in a beautiful castle and everything would be a basketful of roses and the sun would shine down on them every day.
But slowly, she started to realize she missed her Father. They still talked, of course, but it wasn’t the same. The princess knew her Father wasn’t happy with what she was doing, and she knew that she should stop dating the prince, but she didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
Eventually, though, she realized the prince would be hurt less if she stopped dating him then, instead of later. She felt terribly about the whole thing, but she knew her Father was right.
The princess was too stubborn, too immature, and too flighty to date that prince or any other. She wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility.
Her Father was right, and she was wrong. It was hard to take at first, but the princess realized she was better off following her Father’s rules for her life, and so she decided she wasn’t going to date another prince, or anyone else, until she was a grown-up. She, the prince, and her Father were all much happier in the end.
For those of you who think this is a lovely fairy story, sorry. I’m the princess [vain-ish, I know] and God is the Father. The rest of it is true, though. I’m much to immature and stubborn to date, and I learned that the hard way. I hurt myself and others, and I feel very badly about that.
I did learn, however. Being single is a really good thing for me, and I think it’s something to be celebrated. I can do basically whatever I want. (Other than illegal and immoral things. And what my parents don’t let me do.) I can devote myself to God and my friends, and sit here and write this blog on a Saturday night because I’m free on Saturday nights. (And Friday nights, and Sunday nights, and…. You get the picture.)
Once (if) I get married, though, I can’t ever be un-married, unless my husband dies. Singlehood usually doesn’t last as long as marriage, and marriage isn’t reversible. If you want a very clear picture of that, read Gone With the Wind. Or SparkNotes it; it’s over a thousand pages long and the middle is horribly boring. “We have no food, blah blah blah.” But I digress.
Being single is probably not going to last forever. This time of freedom, to write blogs on Saturday night and play on Webkinz and spend entire days with God isn’t always going to be an option.
That’s why singlehood should be celebrated: it’s time with God, without the worries of looking good for your significant other or planning a wedding or making dinner or trying to keep munchkins from blowing up the house. There is very little freedom like being single, no matter when the time of singlehood is.
Yes, sometimes I do want to have a significant other. Some days I’m so jealous it borders on sheer stupidity. But I trust God’s plan for my life. I trust that some day, He will put a guy in my life who will meet the requirement of my Guy List. (Make one. List the attributes you want/need in a future spouse. Don’t listen to the people who tell you the person you’ve listed doesn’t exist. They tell lies.) It’s a long list, so this is also an exercise in patience.
And if God doesn’t have it in His plan for me to marry? That’s all right with me. I trust His plan is better than anything I could make for myself. That’s not always easy, but Romans 8:28 is a good verse for the times of doubt: “In all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.” I love God. I have been called according to His purpose. Whatever He’s doing is the best thing for me.
The other verse I cling to is Psalm 37:4: “Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” If I make God the center of my universe, my everything, and I find happiness in those things He finds happiness in, not only will He give me what I want, but He will make the things I want the same as what He wants. That’s a pretty darn awesome promise.
God isn’t out to get you when He sends you a time of singleness. He’s giving you a chance to experience His love, completely unhindered from any outside influences. Don’t fight it: it’s a gift. Accept it with open hands and an open heart.
I'm a girl who writes sometimes.
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